“Awakening and surrender; they frame each day and each life; between them the journey where anything can happen, the beauty and the frailty…When we address difficulty in terms of the call to beauty, new invitations come alive.” 

We gather today to celebrate the life of Nancy Williams Sallaberry. Spring, when colorful new flowers emerge in the light and warmth after months of grey days, always was a hopeful and inspiring time for Nancy. As the Irish poet John O’Donohue writes, we all live lives framed by the space between light and dark, between awakening and surrender.  Nancy filled that space with joy and beauty. She loved fiercely, and she encouraged and inspired others around her to flower and thrive.  The way she lived was, itself, a call to beauty.

Nancy was born in Marin County in 1955 to the late Reese and Marge Williams, but the family soon moved to Saratoga, Calif. where Nancy and her siblings Ron, Victoria, and Reese grew up. During her years at Saratoga High School, not only did Nancy reign as Homecoming Queen,she was an excellent student and a gifted athlete who competed in tennis, volleyball, basketball, softball, and badminton.

Nancy made lifelong friends at Saratoga High School, where her impish sense of humor and delight in practical jokes began early. Nancy’s friends learned to beware her wicked arsenal of rubber snakes, fake cockroaches, and other gag props that would unexpectedly liven up an outing or evening.  She loved to laugh with you, never at you.

After high school, Nancy attended the University of California, Davis, where she played intercollegiate volleyball. She earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Dietetics, which reflected and amplified her lifelong love of cooking. She also would fondly recall her waitressing shifts working at the once famous Nut Tree a few miles away. 

It was at UC-Davis that she met Paul. They had known each other for several years, but what led to them becoming a couple was that Paul injured his knee during a football game and was alone and in pain in the hospital.  Suddenly, into his room walked Nancy with her 1000-watt smile and a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies. Surely a bell rang in heaven.

Nancy worked in technology for several years, and she and Paul married in 1985.  But when Marc came along in 1988, Nancy realized her true calling was motherhood.  Luc followed, and then Daniel. Their childhoods would be action-packed and adventurous, including wonderful trips to exotic places including South Africa and South America, which the family took in connection with Paul’s job at Veritas.

As the boys made friends in school and on sports teams, the Sallaberry circle grew. One memorable trip to Tuscany in 2003 with four other families launched “the It’ly Gang,” which formed deep bonds while occupying a former convent and trying not to leave any kids behind on Italian trains. 

Nancy had a keen eye for detail with never a hair out of place. Her elegance at fancy events seemed effortless.  The irony was her great love was the simple joy of being with family in the outdoors.  Each summer, the Sallaberrys would visit a cabin resort camp in the Trinity Alps, where her family had vacationed since she was a young girl.  Fishing, hiking, swimming and floating in the river, horseshoes, making smores around a campfire, Trinity was a high point of the year for much of her life.

In year 2000, the Sallaberrys purchased a small resort and ranch at Hat Creek where Paul’s family vacationed when he was a boy.  Paul and Nancy named each of the three cabins for their sons, and it was there Marc, Luc, and Daniel learned to shoot skeet, hone their fishing skills, build and fix fences, care for cattle, and explore. Nancy was always right in the middle of the fun, but when her exhausted guys piled in at the end of a long day, she cheerfully began her second shift, mustering the energy to put a great meal on the table. 

Nancy’s organizational skills kept her busy family on track and thriving, and she applied them to many other volunteer school and sports projects.  She never sought credit or accolades; she brought creativity, meticulous execution, and 110% effort to creating meaningful experiences for young people in the community.

That’s a lot. But Nancy had energy to burn. After the boys entered middle school, she carved out time to compete in sports again: she and several close friends competed year-round in local tennis tournaments and formed a senior doubles team that twice reached the USTA’s National Finals. After Paul retired from corporate life, they began playing golf together.

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No account of Nancy’s life would be complete without mentioning her deep love of the San Francisco Giants, which she inherited from Marge.  The definition of a gamer babe, she loved to listen to Kruk & Kuip call a game while she was cooking or driving or working around the house.  No matter how tough a given season, she focused on the positive (except when the Dodgers were in town).

Nancy was diagnosed with ALS in 2015. For someone who always had the empathy to make others in crisis feel better, the tables had turned.  Many of us felt helpless, unsure how to return her many kindnesses.  But for the next eight years, somehow Nancy remained the person with a gift for lifting others up regardless of how low she might be feeling herself. She accepted but never dwelled on her illness or her limitations.  A few years ago, Nancy wrote a beautiful essay about learning to enjoy the Trinity trip despite the physical limitations that ALS had created for her (https://augiesquest.org/champions/story-2/). By letting go of her past role making sure others had fun, she wrote, “I have learned that sometimes the secret to a special burst of happiness can be to just give in . . . and plop.”

Nancy formed a deep and powerful bond with her caregiver Tenisi Guttenbeil, who soon became Nancy’s “partner in crime” in arranging a little surprise for a visitor or wrapping a gift or throwing a toy for the family’s rambunctious labs. In spring they would sit on the patio and delight at the antics of Nancy’s beloved hummingbirds.  Tenisi understood that helping Nancy show kindness to others and keep Sallaberry life as normal as possible was just as therapeutic for her as any medicine.

Nancy’s gentle and understanding nature, her deep loyalty, and her lively sense of humor were a gift to everyone she knew.  She didn’t tell jokes. She didn’t need to be the center of attention. She answered life’s invitations to have fun wherever she could. At Marc and Brittany’s wedding, Nancy had Marc climb on board her wheelchair and, beaming, they spun around the

dancefloor. 

ALS progresses relentlessly, and Nancy both fought and accepted that.  Paul recalls the day she scowled and admonished him: “You didn’t say hello to Rip.” “Rip?” Paul said.  “Who’s Rip?”

 “My badass wheelchair.” Nancy named it after the rugged, tough, no-nonsense character on Yellowstone, one of her favorite television shows. “Show some respect,” she added, eyes twinkling, flashing her sparkling smile.

Nancy became a trusted friend and resource to others newly diagnosed. She carried the burden of outliving many people who came to her for advice and comfort, but she would always be there to listen when someone wanted to talk.

After a courageous, nearly eight-year battle with ALS, Nancy Sallaberry passed peacefully in her home on December 18, 2022. Paul, her devoted husband of 38 years; her three sons Marc, Luc, and Daniel Sallaberry; daughter-in-law Brittany Sallaberry, and grandson Chase, were by her side. 

Nancy is survived by her three treasured siblings: brother Ron Williams and his wife Joyce; sister Victoria Evans; and brother Reese Williams and his wife Fran. Nancy also was the beloved sister-in-law of Denise Sallaberry and her husband Peter Wilk, and Jack Sallaberry and his wife Sue, as well as a wonderful aunt to many nieces and nephews.

Nancy would want us to smile and embrace the awakening spring, focus on the positive, and let each day “Rip.” Eat good food. Share a laugh. Have some fun. Seek joy like a hummingbird seeks nectar. Surrender what no longer serves you, and be open to life’s unexpected, beautiful invitations.

Nancy Williams Sallaberry

April 16, 1955-December 18, 2022

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